SPEAKER_06 0:10

Well, hello, Miss Emily. Hello, Miss Courtney. How are you? I'm pretty good. How are you?

SPEAKER_05 0:17

I'm I'm doing okay. It's been one hell of a week over here. Um my gosh, I know you're so busy with work. Well, yeah, and there was a thumb. My well, that's one of you know the rest of my digits that's still bandaged up. There was a big fight over here on uh Sunday. Evening at like five o'clock, around 5 15, I believe. I'm sitting in my living room. The kitty's just lounging on the front porch and I've got the door cracked open. Hear some commotion outside. I go out on the porch. Next thing I know, my cat is zooming past me on my porch, runs up the big tree on the side of the house. A dog is right at her heels, runs past he. I've never seen a dog with murder in its eyes like this before. It was awful. It was I haven't. And I I seriously was, you know, I got kind of in the middle of it. Finally, the owner came back. She got her dog. He had his leash on, but he got away from her. My cat, I caught her. She fell out of the tree several times, trying to crawl back up, trying to escape this dog. But anyway, I got multiple puncture wounds from animal bites. I had to go to the ER for four hours that night. And then my cat went to the ER the next day, I believe, or the day after that. She, I was too traumatized to even like go near her, and I didn't want to put her in her carrier. Um we're both on antibiotics and we're healing, but it's been a hell of a week. It's but yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:53

Oh god, well, I've got to cancel my um uh giant German Shepherd singing telegram I was sending to you guys. Not funny. I'm gonna cancel that. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_05 2:02

Um yeah, can you just send like a parakeet instead? She'd be way more into that. Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 2:09

Poor poor Sakawea.

SPEAKER_05 2:11

I know, poor Sakaweah. Um, but I just wanted to say hello to all of our listeners out there. Thank you for listening to That Wasn't the Plan. And it certainly wasn't the plan for an animal attack on a beautiful Sunday evening. And I just want to um just this is a quick note to all the dog owners out there. And I know there are millions of extremely responsible dog owners and they train their dogs well and they know how to walk their dogs. But if you know that your dog doesn't like smaller animals and gets, you know, agitated by cats and squirrels, be mindful of that and keep a tighter rein on their leash when you're walking past homes that you know have smaller animals that hang out on their own properties. My cat rarely leaves my front porch or my front yard. The dog saw her, went ballistic, and you know, there were some casualties plus, you know, the expense of both of us going to the ER. How much total? I'm not sure about mine. I haven't gotten that bell yet, but for hers, it was around six hundred dollars. Umy cannoli, no way. Uh yeah. I also have pet insurance, you know, for that very thing. So that helps. That's another thing for anybody with pets, get pet insurance. You know, it's uh hundred dollars. I know.

SPEAKER_08 3:32

Well she's worth it. Well, of course. Oh my gosh, of course. I'm not saying, why would you pay it? Throw her in the trash, get a new one. It's just a cat. Absolutely. I was just saying that's so much because when we we took our dog last two two weeks ago, she had gotten into some marijuana, and I didn't know that's what it was, so I thought she was having a brain aneurysm or something. It was only 150. Oh, that's 150 to they and they just gave her fluids, so I'm not sure how in deep in in depth poor Fakajiwea.

SPEAKER_05 4:06

Yeah, they gave her a bunch of meds there, and you know, she ripped out all of the claws in both of her back feet and all the claws or most of the claws on her right hand because just climbing that tree. And I went out to the tree like the next day, and there are claw marks. Like she climbed, she was fighting for her life. Fighting for her life.

SPEAKER_08 4:28

I mean, she's terrified, terrified, and having such a calming life where she hangs out with squirrels and her mom's chill, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_05 4:36

Like this is a very chill household. And just to bring that kind of energy and trauma here, fuck that dog. I have not been a fan of dogs this week, and I normally handle your animals, people.

SPEAKER_08 4:49

Handle your animals, be responsible. I'm not perfect and I've not I've had bad instances with we had a giant dog. Um, anyway, that's for another show. But Emily, will you do me one little favor? Yeah. After we record or whatever, get some get like a magnifying glass or like super like uh like magnifying glass glasses and get some tweezers and see if you can find her little nails in the tree and then make a necklace. That's a great idea. Like a bear claw necklace, except a cat claw necklace. Oh, that's cancel your weekend plans.

SPEAKER_05 5:29

Guess I'm not going to the UK on Sunday. Sitting on the plane with catclaws just making a necklace. I'm that lady in economy.

SPEAKER_06 5:39

Fun little craft. We'll be like, uh, can I get another seat?

SPEAKER_08 5:44

Oh man. Um, well, speaking of cat claws, um, I'm very excited to introduce our guest today. Who do we have? Oh so I also believe he has been referred to as the most interesting man in the world. He in a week, right? He's born in Sarasota, Florida. He uh relocated to uh Southwest Virginia. He is one of ten kids. He's the middle one of ten, five girls, five boys. Crazy, right? What? And he is also the father of five kids, all boys except for one girl. And I'm super excited to hear about his life pivot. He ended up having to raise uh five kids on his own. Oh my god. I know. I mean, he can't work a full-time job. He also runs a construction business, a very successful construction business. And so I am super curious, especially you and I, which we don't have kids, so to hear about I mean, this just seems impossible. Um, so I'm so excited to hear what he's got to say. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Jonathan Fitzgerald.

SPEAKER_06 7:00

Hey, welcome. So grateful to have you here. Yeah, well, Jonathan. Is it hot where you are?

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Is it like pretty warm, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 7:11

Are you more are you more happy in the heat? Does that make you happier because of Florida?

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Um, fall is probably my favorite. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 7:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

In Virginia, fall weather is really nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 7:23

Yeah. That's yeah. That is true.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Little breeze, 70s.

SPEAKER_07 7:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

That's too that's delightful.

SPEAKER_07 7:29

Oh, that's very much nice.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah, and the humidity up here is nothing like Florida sides. I was gonna definitely completely different. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 7:36

Yeah, yeah. Not quite as bad.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Not yeah, not nearly as bad.

SPEAKER_08 7:41

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Like not even in the same No, I've I've talked to uh people from you know Colorado, and they're like, oh, it's so muggy in Virginia, but I mean they have no idea what you know from Colorado.

SPEAKER_09 7:54

Yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Virginia is is not a thing. Like you could you you step out of your car in Florida and you're sweating, it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_05 8:02

Oh yeah, you're just wet off the back.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Just instant. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:06

Is is that the reason why you guys have so many children? Is just you're wet all the time.

unknown 8:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Great question, Emily.

SPEAKER_08 8:16

So when my father was there to do when you're wet, you breathe.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

It's a great, yeah, it's I like that. I like that thought process for sure. So when people would ask my father uh when I was growing up, they would be like, Are you Catholic? Are you Mormon? You know, and he would say, No, uh, we just don't have a television. That was so my parents originally, they originally were planned on having three children uh you know, on their wedding night, they planned out their life or whatever. And I think after I think after number three, they were using contraceptives and whatnot back then, and uh just had another one. And and then by the time they got to me, I was number five. So by the time they had me, they just feel like felt like it was God's plan to have a lot of children. So they I guess they just rolled with it.

SPEAKER_08 9:07

My God. Now were they both crumping families? Like were they both, is that like what they were used to?

SPEAKER_00 9:14

No, they're actually both only children. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. So I didn't I don't have to I don't have any officially any cousins, but I've got enough siblings to, you know, kind of cover them, cover the bases, I guess.

unknown 9:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_08 9:28

So wait, how many grandkids do your parents have?

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Grandkids, I think it's 48. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:34

40. And do they know all their names and who they are?

SPEAKER_00 9:38

My so my mother passed last year. She definitely did and knew all their birthdays and all that. But yeah, my dad, uh he's he's 80 uh now, so he's probably That's a lot to ask. He could probably get at least two-thirds of them, right? I would guess. Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 9:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

And then my children for sure, because you know, they're they're his favorite grandchildren.

SPEAKER_05 9:59

But does your dad live nearby?

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Yeah, he actually two streets over from me right now.

SPEAKER_05 10:05

Get out. Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Oh man. Yeah. That's so amazing. He's been dealing with Parkinson, so he's he's had some issues. But yeah, he's doing all right. Doing pretty good and getting over with.

SPEAKER_08 10:18

Him and mom were together inside the street.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Him and mom were together for 64 years, so this last year had been yeah, very hard.

SPEAKER_05 10:26

Oh. Wow. Sorry about that.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:30

Can I ask, what brought you from Florida to uh Courtney said Virginia now?

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Yeah, so uh I was probably 16. My parents were um in the hippie movement in the 60s, uh experimenting with drugs and LSD, PCP, and and then I guess they got um they had an an older gentleman, probably 70 years old, with like pins in his pockets and a button-up short, short sleeve collared shirt. And he came and shared the gospel with them, and they got radically saved and a part of the Jesus movement and had bell bottoms. My dad's hair, my dad's hair was down to here, and then they had a big beard, and um, and they just went, yeah, they would they did that. So, in the process of that, they met another minister um that was like an evangelist, uh uh what would you call it, pioneer type that started churches, and he was gonna start a Bible college in Sarasota, and my dad did the excavating and the and the land work and all that for that, and then it ended up changing and became Virginia. So, fast forward 25 years later, my parents we moved to Virginia to help with that Bible college in Virginia. So yeah, that was how we ended up in Virginia.

SPEAKER_05 11:47

Were you raised super Christian as well then?

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Uh definitely, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

But one thing I really appreciated about my um my upbringing, my parents were they were always, you know, respect authority, but question everything and and know God for yourself, which was huge. And that's you know, that's how those are the pieces that I've used to raise my children, you know, like still the same core beliefs, but with my children, it's it's more the instead of no television, uh well back then there was no phones, but you know, like some of the some of the strictness of my parents um and the conservativeness of you know my upbringing, I've kind of let fall by the wayside and just focus more on the heart of of my children and them having a relationship with God for themselves rather than me telling them what to do. Um so same same core beliefs and values, you know, treat people good, love, you know, like love is love is everything. So, um, but a completely different way to do it. Like with my children, since the time they were toddlers, the world is your oyster. Like you can do all of these things you can do, but here's why you probably shouldn't, you know, just through logic and reason.

SPEAKER_05 13:09

How did you wind up raising them on your own?

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah, this so the start for me was, you know, growing up in church, Sundays, Wednesdays, you know, uh big family Bible studies nightly or pretty regularly, you know, with my family, which was very cool. And like, and it wasn't like my dad was always he was he was a minister at some point, but he wasn't. I think he pastored some, but he was more he he wanted his church to be like nobody knew who the pastor was. Everybody sharing their hearts, everybody sharing, you know, their needs and like helping each other, you know, more like that was his vision for like an actual church or whatever you would call it, a gathering. So they did a lot of home meetings and stuff, and that's kind of how they started out with like the hippies and like just everybody's working together to, you know, build their build their relationship with the Lord. But anyways, so from that, you know, I was like baptized at a young age and accepted the Lord at a young age. And then as I became older, a lot of my actions were pleasing my parents, you know, like to to make them happy and to make my parents proud, to make my dad proud. That was internally, that was what I was. And then when I was 15 or 16, I really started to understand and have a relationship with the Lord for myself. Um so um in that time, and probably when from the time I was 13, 14, 15, all I wanted was to be a father like my father and have children. And I loved growing up in a big family, it was phenomenal. Uh and the more I think about it, the better it, the better it was, you know. So it was like totally awesome. So I all I wanted to do was be an amazing father and an amazing husband, uh, husband to my wife. That was my life goal as a teenager. Like that was my aspirations. I want to be an amazing husband and an amazing father.

SPEAKER_05 15:11

So you don't hear too many uh male teenagers with those goals.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

And that was, I mean, you know, that was that was my heart. And I wanted to have shit tons of children, to be honest with you. Like I wanted to have like 12, 15, 20, as many as I could have.

SPEAKER_08 15:28

Did you say a shit ton of children? Is that what you said? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

And I do and I do, I do, but shit ton is relative term, you know.

SPEAKER_08 15:35

So I do have a shit ton is equivalent to 10 plus. Yeah, I like that. Okay. I love the Lord and I want a shit ton of kids.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. That's me in a nutshell. That's it right there. Absolutely. That encapsulates my my my whole existence right there.

SPEAKER_08 15:54

And that was Jesus and I like to procreate.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yes, amen. So that led to, we're in Virginia, right? And I don't remember I was dating a little bit or something, and I was 16, 17, 18, um, and had a lot of suitors or whatever you want to call it.

SPEAKER_08 16:13

Uh his dance card was full, it sounds like.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Anyways, so I ended up meeting a girl that was from a family of nine, and I was from a family of 10, right? And her grandfather was one of the first to to uh share the gospel and and be a part of my parents' lives as as a uh as that evangelist. Wow. He's the one that started that Bible college, right?

SPEAKER_05 16:39

Okay, there's a connection there then.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Yeah, yeah. So uh it just seemed like destiny, right?

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Like yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

And um my mother had seven of us, seven of us children at home with no midwife, just my father delivering us, which is what crazy, yeah, and badass.

SPEAKER_05 16:58

But then your mother's dangerous. We're gonna need to have a like a little side quest and talk about what an amazing womb she has for one.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yeah.

unknown 17:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

For sure. Absolutely. And you know, I always the funny thing about that is I always just thought, okay, my dad cut my hair. I never went to the barber until I was like 22 years old. My dad always cut my hair. It was a flat top or a buzz cut, right? And then all my all my siblings, either my mom cut their hair or my dad did, right? So I thought, and my dad cut his own hair, and it, you know, it looked good. So I'm like, Dad's just he just sees somebody do something and then he does it. You know, like that was what I thought as a young man. And then probably five years ago or so, I was talking to my mom, and I was like, that's just crazy. Dad delivered, you know, like that is crazy. She's like, uh, I just thought he just did it because Kit and Mary, my oldest two siblings, were born in the hospital. Dad said, I can do that. So he did seven, right? That's that's what I thought all these years. I mean, 30, 40 years, I thought that. And my mom's like, oh no, Jonathan. Dad read nine books on child labor and the complications. And I mean, that's even more badass. You know, like, but she's like, he read nine books. Like two of my sisters had their cords around their neck, weren't breathing. He just untangled them like an extension cord, and they were fine. Like every one of us survived. Pretty incredible. Like, very incredible.

SPEAKER_08 18:27

Is your father single?

SPEAKER_00 18:29

Because that's badass. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:32

Honestly, it just makes me think, you know, all these doctors, God bless them, you know, spending eight years in medical school plus or you just need nine books. Or you just need nine books. You just need to will hunt it.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

He actually invented a birthing chair. What? Like it was basically stirrups. He welded it and built it and had wooden stirrups on it for delivering babies. And he tried to get he tried to get a patent. Yeah, like he built this stirrups, which they have in the hospitals now, but I'm talking about 40 years ago or more. Right. Yeah. So he had designed it and he hired an uh uh patent attorney for that, and then another invention that he had, and he got scammed. And so he just threw it out the window. Because we didn't have a lot of like liquid currencies growing up, you know, as you can imagine.

SPEAKER_08 19:25

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

With uh, you know, one.

SPEAKER_08 19:26

Did you still have the chair?

SPEAKER_00 19:29

No. I think he scrapped it once he saw the first one.

SPEAKER_08 19:33

We'll put it up. Oh my gosh. I know it's not, but I'm picturing an electric chair from like the 1960s. And I know that's not what they look like.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Picture a go-kart, right? But it has a seat, and then the stirrups are down lower, so you can like, you know, push the baby up.

SPEAKER_05 19:51

Okay.

unknown 19:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:51

I have another mind. Like a horse.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Like you're riding a horse, but there's no horse there. It's a baby's head coming out, right? Like stirrups, you know.

SPEAKER_08 20:01

I mean, I'll need a picture. Yeah, we need to get it up. Yeah. I'm still I'm on the fence with this.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

It's too late now. But anyway. Long story. Uh Jennifer, the mother of my children. She was, I think she was 16 and I was like 20. No, I was 18. She was 14. That's right. And I was like, boy.

SPEAKER_08 20:26

It's like parents were those ages too.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

I was like, it's destiny. I mean, uh, I'm like, it's, you know, you gotta realize this is in a conservative church. So it's like there was no, there's no funny business going on, but I'm like, it's destiny. You're a big family, I'm a big family, and freaked her out, right? You know, she's four too. So she was she was downright mean to me for four years. I mean, just like hateful. Damn right, girl. I'd tell her to apologize to me because I was doing work on their house, like painting and doing stuff for her father. And her mom was an absolute angel, and she loved me. But anyway, Jennifer was totally like just downright hateful. So that fast forward about four years, and we're at a church lunch thing or whatever, and you know, you know, good riddance, whatever. I wasn't even thinking about her. And I started talking to her uh, like in the line to get food, and she's like, heard my voice had changed, whatever. I don't know. And she's like, Saw that hair dang. That night, she's like, You want to come over and hang out, watch a movie? So she was on it. Um, and I was like, sure, yeah, yeah. Um, but anyway, so fast forward six months, I think we were engaged like six months later, which I had just I was just coming out of a I don't know if you call it long term, long term ish relationship, but the longest relationship, maybe her mom did not like me at all. They were um they were from Connecticut or no, Vermont. Conservative, Catholic, and then converted to Christianity. And her mom just I was too much of a free spirit because I was driving a Volkswagen bus and like paid 300 bucks for it. The brakes didn't work, no tags, and I'm just like, you know, winging it, you know. And amazing. Her dad was cool. He liked me because I was a hard worker, but the free-spirited part that I had, they didn't vibe with. They're like, you gotta have a house, a piece of land, or you're not in love, you know.

SPEAKER_05 22:27

And I'm like, oh the age of what, 23, 24?

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Yeah, I was I think I was 21 at the time or something like that, but which I was working two jobs, maybe three. I don't remember, but um, but anyways, so got married a year or so later. Jennifer graduated high school.

SPEAKER_05 22:48

Was she married in July?

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Turned 18. No, she got graduated in May, turned 18 in June, and we got married in July.

SPEAKER_08 22:55

Wow. Dang.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

I was 22 and she was 18. So yeah, it was it was uh destined to fail, maybe.

SPEAKER_08 23:03

Oh, was it a huge wedding?

SPEAKER_00 23:05

I mean, my gosh, you both have no, no, actually, it was pretty big, yeah. So what they did was this church uh whack would probably be a proper term for it, but they the pastor would yeah, yeah, like whack, like twisted, like like wild. Yeah, just like silly. The terms these kids are using these. I know was what we like about me. Emily, I think that's like 20 years old, actually, but I think you're younger than me too.

SPEAKER_09 23:37

So I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

I don't think so. I'm definitely not younger. I'm 52 years old, so I'm I'm guessing I'm not younger. No, so so they had to look at the pastor of that church. Would he would like read one passage of scripture and then he would like run with it? He said that we should have weddings at the church and not follow the whatever Catholic model of regular weddings, right? Well, Jennifer wanted to have this candlelit wedding in a little church, you know, like she had it planned from the time she was young, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

So he like forced us to have it at church. I thought it was cool as shit because it was like Sunday morning, everybody got to miss church because they because we had a wedding, like, you know, and then we had a picnic after. Yeah, like everybody at church was like, this is the shortest church service ever, you know? Like, so um, I thought it was cool. She was totally not about it.

SPEAKER_05 24:35

How long were you married?

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Uh officially, I think it was like 17 years, but it was pretty much cooked after 14, 13, or 14.

SPEAKER_05 24:46

How far into the marriage before you had your first baby?

SPEAKER_00 24:51

Uh three years. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, we had a yeah, we took some time, had a little fun.

SPEAKER_08 24:55

Yeah, you had a good honeymoon together, spend some time.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Went to California, did you know, travel, went to England. We did it, we did some fun stuff before we started having kids, yeah, for sure. Cause I think I was 25 when Jonah was born.

SPEAKER_05 25:09

Um Jonah's your oldest.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Yeah. Yep. Jonah's 26, and then we've got Silas is 24, Allison is 21, and then Abel is will be 20 in September, and Eli will be 18 in September. So yeah.

SPEAKER_08 25:23

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Almost done.

SPEAKER_08 25:25

How fast can you say all their names?

SPEAKER_00 25:28

I might not remember all of them if I'm trying to do that. Let me see. Jonah, Silas, Allison, Abel, Eli. Now, my family, Kit Mary, Joel, Rebecca Jonathan, Esther Dave, Michelle Summer Timothy. That's the tip. Wow. I practice that. You know, yeah. I practice that.

SPEAKER_08 25:42

Do it again. Do your siblings again?

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Kit, Mary, Joel, Rebecca Jonathan, Esther Dave, Michelle Summer Timothy.

SPEAKER_08 25:48

Woo!

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 25:51

Is that is that one of your children behind you back there?

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Yeah, probably. That's probably my youngest, Eli. Eli. Come say hey, man. I'm on a podcast. Can you tell?

SPEAKER_04 26:04

Hi, Eli.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah, can you tell? He looks like he looks tall.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

Is he a tall man?

SPEAKER_00 26:08

That's exactly what that's almost exactly what I looked like when I was 15, 16.

SPEAKER_04 26:12

Oh my God. No, is he he looks really tall?

SPEAKER_00 26:16

He's pretty tall. Yeah, he's six foot. Something like that. Yeah. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_04 26:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

Jonah, six four, six three, Silas. Yeah, like every all of them are pretty tall, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:27

Wow. Wow. I'm sorry. Did I miss it? How tall are you?

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Me? Oh six two.

SPEAKER_05 26:33

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Right about six one and three quarters.

SPEAKER_08 26:36

And how tall was your is your uh the mom of them?

SPEAKER_00 26:41

Uh Jennifer's five six.

SPEAKER_08 26:43

Oh, short. She's uh yeah. Wow. She had wow.

SPEAKER_04 26:50

Giant.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

Yeah, she so when she was pregnant with Jonah, when we got married, I think she was five, six, a hundred and eight pounds. And then when she was full term with Jonah, yeah, she was tiny. When she was full term with Jonah, she was 132 pounds. So she literally gained 24 pounds in pregnancy.

SPEAKER_08 27:11

Is that a lot? Is that how much you're supposed to gain? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

That's not much at all. That's not much at all. Yeah, he weighed seven of that. So yeah. No. So that wasn't. Oh, no. No. She was tiny. It looked like a basketball. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:28

So if I can ask, how did you go from the family of five to then raising children by yourself? What happened there?

SPEAKER_00 27:39

So yeah, so I everything was really good. I went through, so my business was a painting business at the time that I had started in 96. I think it was a year after we got married and uh, or 98. We got married in 97, 6, something like that. Yeah, 97. I think I started my painting business. And I built it up from just me to 22 employees and uh was doing a lot of good stuff with a lot of contractors, local contractors. I would do all their work. And you know, I was really good at the coordinating, scheduling, planning, and all that stuff and get and getting shit done, but I wasn't great at the business stuff, like as far as accounting and documenting and all that stuff. So 2007, 8, 9 was when the housing market went all to shit. And it I was at the time I was selling real estate as a side hustle, and I was running that painting business, and everything was hunky-dory, right? So I was spending money like I was it was gonna go on forever. Um and then 2007, 8, 9, everything just came to a screeching halt. You know, like even around here, the market was better uh real estate-wise than Florida and other areas that got hit really hard, but it's still everybody was building spec houses and I was doing a lot of work, and then that just came to a screeching halt. So my business failed, um, went through bankruptcy. What was the other stuff? Lost our vehicles, you know. Like she was Jennifer was watching them tow away her Denali, you know, like uh fun stuff like that. Yeah, so we went through that.

SPEAKER_09 29:20

Fun stuff like that. Real good times.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

Yeah. Repo, repo type of things.

SPEAKER_08 29:25

Well, it's interesting because I didn't know anyone in the housing market. Like, you know, Emily and I, I think at that time we were both in LA at that time and when the housing market and I didn't know anyone personally. I mean, it certainly trickled down, it affected, you know, everything eventually. But so I I I really have no idea of how awful, how awful that was. Yeah. Yep. For people that were your livelihood is the housing market, you know. That that is wow, it was brutal.

SPEAKER_00 29:58

So I went from so that was I dodged the IRS for two years because it oh no. Initially I got behind on payroll taxes, yeah, uh, which is super common when a business is falling short, you know. Like I had all those people that I was working with, and and I mean, I was I was literally in a fog for like two years, just like going through the motions, like laying in bed thinking about all the debt I had, and there was no way in hell I was ever gonna be able to pay it back. Like, just like, and then in the process of that, I really feel like kind of the it was a disconnect in communication, like talking about relationships. If you're in a relationship, communication is doesn't matter if it's good, doesn't matter if it's bad, doesn't matter, any of that matters. It's gotta be communicated, you know? Like because otherwise you're gonna lose that connection with uh with your partner. So I was bearing the burden of it, you know, I was bearing the burden of it, and I didn't want to dress her out with how much how deep the shit was in that we were in, you know. Like and I feel like I feel like that was part of where we kind of lost the connection. And then of course, raising kids, everybody, everybody that's raised kids knows you get lost in.

SPEAKER_05 31:13

But five, five of them, right? You get lost in the all so close in age, too. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Yeah. They're all pretty much two years apart. So you kind of get lost in the um football practice, you know, basketball, feed the kids, do you know, like it's just becomes a um a part of your life, but it's more it's not a chore. I mean, it I always consider a but so in that, and then she had we had three young ones at the time, Alice and Abel and Eli were pretty close in age. So I would be at football practice coaching Jonah and Silas, or taking them to the gym or to the Y, or you know, take them to the pool. I would sometimes, you know, I would take all the kids, every opportunity I had. But um I think in the process of that she got burnt out, you know, and it was um it was legitimate, legitimate and totally valid feelings uh and what she was going through, but I didn't really know that because we kind of had lost that uh open communication, I guess is what you would say.

SPEAKER_07 32:13

Nobody wants to stress each other out with the heavy stuff.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

Yeah, yeah. And I was a bit of an ass. Um to put it politely, you know, like when somebody comes to you, well, you know, like if she would come to me and be like, uh do this part of the yard or that or that, I'd be like, What? You know, I'm doing great things here. You know what I'm saying? Like defensive, defensive, like an ass like that. Like defensive, okay. I don't want to hear it. Like, you know, I'm stressed out of my mind. I don't want to hear how shitty I am right now. But um Yeah. That's you know, just defensive, you know, typical human reaction when somebody points out your faults. So she took a job staying at night with like a um an older lady, right? Like sitting with her at night just to be there with her and stuff. And um that was cool because it was kind of an outlet for her, you know, and to get away from the kids and have some time alone because the lady pretty much just slept, you know, all night or whatever. So, anyways, fast forward a month down the road or something like that. The the the mother's son and grandson come to visit from North Carolina and they're all you know hang having dinner, Sunday dinner with her, and Jennifer's there. And then lo and behold, the next day or two, the 28-year-old grandson is gonna move in with his grandmother.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

So she tells me, she tells me about this dinner, and then, you know, how oh, this grandson's decided to move. I said, he's moving up there for you, Jennifer. Like, duh. He gets to stay all night with a hot ass, you know, 35-year-old. He's 28, whatever it was. I'm like, he's coming up there for you. Like, and if he he might even force himself on you, I don't know. You're gonna be there alone in the house, right? Like, these are the things I said to her.

SPEAKER_05 33:59

Of course.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

And she was like, Well, do you want me to quit? And I was like, No, not at all. Like, I'm not controlling, you know, you you do what you want to do. Um, but I'm said, but I'm telling you, that's why he's moving there. Like, you know what I'm saying? Because if you want to think like a man, talk to a man, um, and they can tell you.

SPEAKER_05 34:19

Uh, same with women. So if men ever want to, you know, think about making laws for us and that sort of stuff, just come and ask us. Let us know. I'm gonna ask us.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

We've got our own opinions. I totally agree. I totally agree.

SPEAKER_08 34:33

Yeah, she's staying the night with the basically, she's kind of doing nursing.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

Um yeah. Elder care, yeah, type of thing.

SPEAKER_08 34:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

So um year and a half later, I find out that, yeah, that is what went on. And I get little bits and pieces of it from her, right? But this is when she's like, absolutely, totally could not stand me. Like, I'm either leaving you or I'm gonna be honest with you about what went down a year and a half ago or whatever, right?

SPEAKER_02 35:03

So boy.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Um so that was hard to hear. But then of course, yeah, it was like bits and pieces of the truth. And then it was like more and more of the truth, and more and more of the truth. And then when that truth came out, was a lot of times I don't know if it was like intuition or God or my common sense and logic. Like, you know, I think this actually probably happened. So at that time, she said that she wanted to move out, and I was a strong personality. She's only really ever known me. So she wanted to have her own space and you know, like find out who she is. So I was like, okay, I support that. So I helped her move. She found a little place in the same town. Um, before she did that, before she said she was gonna move out, she went to see an attorney to make sure that she that I didn't come back with abandonment because all the children wanted to stay with me, which was cool. And including my daughter. So I was I was like, yeah, I'll sign off on whatever, don't care. Because at the time she was really hurting. So at the time I was 40, I said, I'm 40 years old, I'll be totally fine. My number one concern was her and her heart and her soul because it was like really bad condition, you know, like and it was uh and it was Yeah, doing that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_08 36:28

Yeah, I mean, clearly it's hard on you.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Yeah, and through our conversations, there was a lot of crying and guilt and shame that she dealt with for all that time, on top of being a secret. This was right after we're going through all this financial shit. So in the middle of all that, this is when this is going on. So she was my number one priority. So, like whatever she needed, I was gonna help her out with, right? That was what I felt. So we helped her move, and of course, we were still talking through that, and and then with the kids and stuff, of course, we're all it was all still involved, but it kind of came to the point where the more I pursued and tried to restore the relationship, the less interested she was. Almost like middle school. Okay, you know what I'm saying? Like when the guy's coming on you hard, like you're like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

So that's kind of you know, in hindsight, I definitely made a lot of mistakes. And I spent the next I spent the next six months just like really introspectively evaluating my part in the whole relationship. I felt and to this day I still feel 100% responsible for the relationship failing because my lack of communication, my lack of love, my being an ass, like all the different things that I realized when I was reflecting on it and my part in it, like I saw where I was wrong, you know, all the way through the marriage, all the way through.

SPEAKER_08 37:58

That's major. I mean, to be able to say that, that's respectful.

SPEAKER_05 38:01

It is you're an amazing man for one, but it you know, it always takes two to tango. So don't put that entire load on yourself that it was all your fault because she played a part in that too.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

Well, there was I don't disagree with that at all. I agree, I agree, but me taking responsibility, it's really not a burden. You know, like I don't look at it as that. I know that where we've I know that everything happens for a reason, you know, like and ultimately it's uh if you're not in it wholeheartedly, then I don't want any part of it anyways, you know. So like um, there's assets. I've spent a lot of time, uh, especially in that first six months, year, two, three years, just like really reflecting and um examining my heart, really determined to keep my heart open, even though it had been like severely ripped apart, on shreds, stepped on, wow, whatever else you can do to it. And like that was and through all that, the amazing thing about it was I never, I don't think I I rarely in my life felt the joy and the peace and the un uh unexplainable joy and peace. Supernatural, let's put it that way. Like tears and like heartache, and like my kids would see me, you know, like I I I still felt joy and I and I know it was because I was pouring into my children, you know, like when we give to others and we do for others, God's able to give into our hearts, you know, like and restore our hearts, even though I was like, it was the absolute fucking worst thing in the world that could ever happen to me, you know, to me, because that was my ultimate goal was to be first of all, a great husband. And then secondly, a great father, right? In that order in my mind, in my heart since I was a teenager. And so that like it couldn't have been worse. Like, you know, like yeah, if I'm adding up the facts, and it just couldn't have been worse. And but through all that, I'm telling you, it was supernatural, and there was no other way to describe it. And one of the one of the times this was happening, I was at the sink washing the dishes, and this was kind of early on when I was finding all this out, the um the infidel or whatever. And my my son at the time was I think 13 or 14, and he's like, What's wrong, dad? And I was like, Jonah, I don't think your mom loves me anymore. And I mean, dead pan, quick as can be. I could have told you that a year ago. Oh, wow. Are you kidding me? That's what he said to me. And I'm just like, I started laughing. Yeah, I just lost it. I was like, that's I was like, Jonah, why didn't you tell me? Oh, that was that was like, I'll never forget that moment. I know exactly where I was standing, exactly where he was. I mean, it was it was hysterical. It was so cool.

SPEAKER_08 41:11

Let me I'm so curious as to like how did you all communicate this to the kids when it happened, when she moved out? Like, how were they dealing with that? Divorce is earth-shattering a lot of times for for kids.

SPEAKER_00 41:26

For sure. I don't really I think her I don't, you know, I can't really speak for her, but I from what I remember, her line of communication was, you know, your dad and I are working through things, you know, the typical things parents say.

SPEAKER_08 41:41

You know, yeah. So they were in the loop.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

So they were communicated with okay, yeah. Yeah, like Alison, I think, was eight and had a conversation with her mother that because I was more responsible with timing and being on time and all these things, that she wanted to live with me, which you know, made me happy forever. Like, you know, your eight-year-old daughter.

SPEAKER_02 42:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

So that was and Jennifer shared that with me. So our we were always very amicable and like um I take a lot of pride in that. We were mostly, yeah, mostly respectful to each other and of each other. Um, you know, of course, we're human, but um, for the most part, we were always amicable and and definitely for the children too, you know, and um yeah, and even even for each other.

SPEAKER_05 42:30

So it sounds like when you guys the divorce had happened, Jennifer had moved out. You had if you said Alison was around eight, then there's a younger one still that was probably around six. What was it like? Single father. We always hear of the single mothers, but we don't ever speak to the single fathers that often. What was it like raising five kids from like six to probably what, sixteen at that time? And running a business.

SPEAKER_00 42:59

That's pretty crazy. Whoa. A nonstop, a non-stop would have people ask me. How do you do it? You know, like yeah, because I was fine the energy.

unknown 43:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 43:09

What are you smoking and bragging? What do you snort, Jonathan?

SPEAKER_00 43:13

I would say, but I don't sleep a whole lot, so that's helpful. I guess it was I'm trying to think of the timing of it because it was like a two, three-year process of you know, before we I finally filed the divorce or whatever and gave up hope on that happening. But oh, that's hard.

SPEAKER_07 43:30

Three years of that. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

Which I mean, it wasn't like I was, you know, some uh angel or something, you know what I mean? Like I was still dating and stuff too, but I'm saying before I oh it was finalized, you know, like a man about town.

SPEAKER_05 43:46

A man about town.

SPEAKER_00 43:47

So oh Lord. With the children, it was it was just my heart. Like, so like she was finding herself, and I'm like, hell yeah. If I've got the kids, you can do whatever you want. I'll tell people whatever you want. To hear, like if the kids are with me, I'm solid. So um, Eli was two, three, four, Abel was six, you know, like you were saying, and then Allison was eight, something like that when it and then uh two, three, four, it was busy, it was busy. So uh I moved north about 30 minutes, and she was like, Oh, why are you doing that? I'm pretty the kids, you know, which I had a conversation with the children. Um and going back to what you were saying earlier, with the dealing with children going through divorce, this is a major thing to me. I am was just straight up with them from the jump, you know. I'm like, we have a problem. You're gonna hear voices that you have something to do with it. It's a lie, it's an absolute and total lie. You're loved, you are loved. And when you hear that, tell it to go. Let it go, let it go, because you're loved. You know, like you guys are the most important thing. So I was really verbal about it and communicated that with them. Like, are you gonna hear these? You're gonna hear these thoughts. Like, that's that's true. Preventative care. Talk straight with them, like, yeah, mom and I, this, that, whatever. Like, it's but that's fine, you know, like each of us are our own individuals. But um, so yeah, it it really came down to one day at a time. And it was for me, total chaos. You know, yeah, like coaching, coaching two of them in football, one of them's in middle school, three of them are in elementary school, and one of them's in high school, and none of them are driving. And they already oh my god, and they didn't ride the bus, you know, and then I was working too. I was working, I wasn't working for myself at the time, I was working for a guy, so I was working from seven to five, like grinding all day long. And then you just do you just do what has to be done that day, and that's pretty much it. Like you don't, you know, when you're laying down to go to sleep, you might think about tomorrow what you gotta do, but it's just it was just like a one day you were in survival mode, man.

SPEAKER_08 46:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:04

And unfortunately, like a decade. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, I I think I've you know fell fell in love with that survival mode. So I'm like nonstop. And I've always been a I understand that. Risk taker, yeah, you know, risk taker, fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy.

SPEAKER_08 46:21

Think about the consequences later, like just make the choices now, the best choice you think of. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Consequences? What's that?

SPEAKER_08 46:29

Well, living it. Well, I'm thinking more along the lines of in recovery because it's one day at a time and you're in chaos, and you know, you are in survival mode, so you stop planning, you stopped looking any further than the end of day when you can go to sleep. At least that's what it was like for me. I also And it took a long time to get out of that.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Yeah. I also think growing up as a middle child in a family of 10 is kind of like set you up. That's my jam, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08 47:01

Like, yeah, you were like, bring it. Let me get more babies than this.

SPEAKER_05 47:06

Did you have siblings? Did you have siblings nearby or anybody that can help out?

SPEAKER_00 47:10

Oh, yeah, at the time, yeah. My sister Esther was like a second mother for sure. Yeah, she takes ass. Like she would definitely help. And she has pod children as well. And so they they can you know, they they intermingle, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 47:25

Water out there, like tell you how.

SPEAKER_00 47:32

Yeah, it was it was always pretty, pretty crazy and busy and a lot of fun, a lot of fun. So much fun.

SPEAKER_05 47:40

A lot of fun. Were you dating through any of this? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh, let's hear about that. One quick little story. So I had set up a date um for Winston Salem, which is a you know, hour and a half or so from here, and their mom was supposed to be back in town after being gone for a couple of weeks, was supposed to be back in the country or whatever, and having them that Saturday evening. So I had made plans because it was usually she didn't usually have them very long. So can't get a hold of her.

SPEAKER_08 48:11

Oh, she didn't have the kids very long. Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

Right. Can't get a hold of her. Kids can't get a hold of her. Like, no response. So I'm thinking, okay. So I was like, all right. So I booked a hotel, Winston-Salem, took the kids down there and my adopted son, set them up in the hotel room with pizza. Sorry, adopted video games. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_08 48:34

We're gonna have to go back. Yeah, we will have to start.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

Set them up in the hotel room with the PlayStation, um TV, you know, whatever. Pizzas, ordered them pizzas, drinks, whatever. Do whatever you want, guys. And then went over and had then went over and had dinner with my date.

SPEAKER_09 48:53

But what fun for them? Like uh it's already on, Wayne. What a fun little vacation.

SPEAKER_00 48:59

It was pretty fun. Yeah, it was just on a whim on a Saturday afternoon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 49:03

I've got two questions. Went to Salem. Is that like the cigarettes?

SPEAKER_00 49:08

Probably should be. Yeah, it's big tobacco area, down there.

SPEAKER_05 49:11

Big tobacco area, that's what I thought.

SPEAKER_00 49:12

Second, I'm almost 100% sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 49:15

Yeah. You mentioned an adopted son, so now you have fix?

SPEAKER_00 49:20

For a period of time, yeah. I think he lived with the city.

SPEAKER_08 49:24

What how does it?

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Xavier. His name is Xavier. So he was so he was at the same high school as as my my son's, and then his mom was moved into North Carolina about three hours away, and he wanted to finish his last two years of high school.

SPEAKER_03 49:40

Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

I went with his mother to the courthouse, and I think they had to send a letter to his father, and as long as he didn't respond, so anyways, I officially adopted him. Like I had another one that lived with me for about a year and a half that wasn't like an official adoption, but uh, and it was the opposite. The other town we were living in, his mom moved away, and so he stayed with us for about a year and a half. That was right when we were going through um separate or you know, whatever the initial separation and all that.

SPEAKER_05 50:09

Well, I I just have to quickly say, Jonathan, they don't make them like you. I mean, my God, what a guy.

SPEAKER_08 50:18

My pause is that uh how so it's a bunch of boys. How did Alice and Alice and your daughter, how did she take being around all those boys? And then you were like, one more boy's coming. Oh, forgot. What we got another boy coming. How was that?

SPEAKER_00 50:33

I'm sure for her, we need to get you need to have her on for a whole episode. I'm sure it was challenging, but yeah, her and I are oh yeah, from the time from the time she was eight, she would sleep under my arm every night. She slept in my room. Oh, how multiple of the other kids would too eventually, but uh but yeah, I tell you the biggest the biggest sign of success for a girl is having a healthy relationship with her dad.

SPEAKER_08 51:03

Yeah, I've heard that over and over. I mean, I certainly believe people can be success successful, fully centered without having a father figure, but it sure I mean I had a wonderful dad. I know Emily has a wonderful dad, like that's it makes a difference. It makes a difference. But I never had the relationship that it sounds like she had with you.

SPEAKER_00 51:25

I probably we probably I went on we went on so many dates, her and I, you know, when she was 11, 12, 13, or you know, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, you know, like it's wow priceless. And then to be to be someone that they want to hang out with at 52 years old, like like we want to spend time with you, you know, as adults, like that's that's like incredible. And then, you know, when she was 17, you know, like seek me out on our own and not for the money, because I always give money no matter what, but um and say, you know, you're my favorite person in the world. Like for your daughter to say that to you, it's like holy shit. Like wow. Doesn't matter what happens the rest of my life. I'm I'm content. I'm like filled up to the brim. Oh wow because of the you know, mostly because of the divorce. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 52:25

Well, let me ask you this. Um, and I don't mean to pry, but I've noticed you're wearing a wedding ring. And so I take it you're now remarried. Are you planning on having any more children?

SPEAKER_00 52:42

Nah, she's not about having more children, but she's amazing.

SPEAKER_08 52:45

Is she? So wait. Yeah, she's so. Tell us how'd you meet her? Yeah, how did you meet her? Does she also have 45 kids?

SPEAKER_00 52:52

No, no, she she's never been married and never had kids. Uh I you know perfectly. I dig her already.

SPEAKER_05 53:01

How long have you been married? How long have you been married?

SPEAKER_00 53:04

We've been together for three years. Um about a year.

SPEAKER_05 53:09

Okay, so so not too long. Not too long. And she wasn't there then, like helping raise all your brood for that long.

SPEAKER_00 53:17

No, unfortunately, that would have been incredible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 53:22

Well, how old are you all then?

SPEAKER_08 53:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:25

She does, yeah. Oh, she does. Okay, well, that's good. She's a doll. She's like one of them, you know.

SPEAKER_08 53:31

Oh, so you're raising a you adopted, you actually adopted her, and then you were like, let's marry.

SPEAKER_00 53:38

Yeah. Let's be clear on her age. Be clear, let's be clear on her age. How old is she?

SPEAKER_08 53:42

How old is she?

SPEAKER_00 53:44

She's in her late 60s. So like it's not creepy that I adopted her, you know. Like, it's not creepy at all.

SPEAKER_08 53:51

You adopted a 65-year-old woman. Does she play football?

SPEAKER_00 53:55

But with the intention of that we would get together eventually. So you gotta keep that in mind, you know. Like, nothing weird about this at all. Like, it's totally natural.

SPEAKER_08 54:04

It's a little bit weird. I feel a little weird about it, but I mean wow.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

What's what's wrong? Sugar mama instead of a sugar daddy, like wow.

SPEAKER_08 54:14

I yeah, I guess it's you know, it can go both ways.

unknown 54:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 54:18

Now, what's the relationship like now for you and and uh Jennifer?

SPEAKER_00 54:22

We don't talk a whole lot now that the kids are raised, which is so cool for me.

SPEAKER_08 54:29

Okay, but it's amicable, like if you guys saw each other, like Oh, of course, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:34

Yeah, we were hanging on a lake uh about a year and a half ago or so, and my wife and I and her and her new husband, so yeah. Oh wow, I got no qualms. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:47

And how does your new wife get along with your kids? Do they like her?

SPEAKER_00 54:51

And yeah, they absolutely love her.

SPEAKER_05 54:53

Oh good. Thank goodness.

SPEAKER_07 54:55

Because that would be tough, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:58

And and they would uh so four of them, Jonah was uh when we started dating, Jonah was already out of the house and on his own. Silas was in college, but then moved back for about a year. So yeah, there's plenty, they've had a good chance to like really get to know each other and like live.

SPEAKER_08 55:16

In the trenches together, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_08 55:19

So how many other kids did you adopt during that period of time?

SPEAKER_00 55:25

Uh no. None during the period of time, the last three years.

SPEAKER_08 55:30

Yeah. You haven't adopted any more kids?

SPEAKER_00 55:34

I don't know. Have I forgotten some?

SPEAKER_08 55:37

You don't know.

SPEAKER_00 55:40

I was thinking of making a joke, but now I'm like I wouldn't call it official, but yeah, there's always kids over here.

SPEAKER_08 55:46

That's I would imagine that is.

SPEAKER_05 55:49

Yeah, I yeah, with five teenagers and yeah, or I'm sure that your house is full of things.

SPEAKER_00 55:54

I always I always was kind of like, yeah, you guys can hang out here anytime, and that way I don't gotta worry about where you are, you know, like you're here. So I usually it was an open door policy for that reason, mainly. Oh, yeah. I knew where they were, I knew what they're doing, you know.

SPEAKER_05 56:09

Like I mean, that's smart. That's good. I notice, well, and I it could be it's just because I have a view kind of in your kitchen here. Do you have two refrigerators?

SPEAKER_08 56:20

Yes, absolutely. That looks like exactly what that is.

SPEAKER_05 56:23

Yeah, okay, because I've seen a kid like come and get it from one angle, and then I was like, is that another refrigerator in the back over there? Emily, you're a detective.

SPEAKER_00 56:32

We adopted the two we adopted the two fridge policy two years ago.

SPEAKER_03 56:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 56:38

Better late than never, but yeah, no, it's it's it's wonderful.

SPEAKER_03 56:42

Yeah, well, especially when you're people in the house. Yeah, I couldn't imagine.

SPEAKER_00 56:46

The big ass trash can. That's always helpful too. It's not very aesthetically appealing, but it's it's cool.

SPEAKER_08 56:53

Yeah, I guess you guys really do you create a lot of um. I mean, I just know what I grew up with one brother, and my God, he ate everything. I mean, I also ate everything, so I can't just blame it all on him. But like, I mean, were you just buying like full cows and cooking them in the backyard and then feeding everybody that way?

SPEAKER_00 57:13

Yeah, no, my gosh. Incredible. When you're raising five kids, you really don't have time to pay attention to where it comes from and how much it costs.

SPEAKER_05 57:23

You're just so now, yeah. What's your life like? You're kind of an empty nester, it sounds like, except you got one maybe graduating from high school in a year or so.

SPEAKER_00 57:33

Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, and then Alice and uh my daughter's getting ready to go to tech. So at the end of this summer, yeah, we'll just be it'll just be Eli, uh the youngest.

SPEAKER_05 57:44

What's what's that gonna be like?

SPEAKER_00 57:46

It's pretty cool. I mean, I work a lot, so yeah. Do your other kids live nearby? It's gonna be really cool for my wife and I. Um, yeah, they're yeah, five minutes.

SPEAKER_05 57:58

Oh, great. Oh, that's nice.

SPEAKER_00 58:00

Yeah, so my oldest son is buying the house uh from his mother, and my other two sons, Silas and Abel, have moved in with him. So they got the whole bachelor pad brothers going on over there.

SPEAKER_08 58:18

That's so cute.

SPEAKER_00 58:19

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_08 58:21

Has it been hard for the youngest to like watch them all leave?

SPEAKER_00 58:25

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_05 58:28

But they're only five minutes away. Oh, yeah, true.

SPEAKER_00 58:30

Yeah, it's not far. Yeah, yeah. And they all drive and play tennis and pickle ball together all the time.

SPEAKER_05 58:35

My god, you had four or five kids still teach to drive.

SPEAKER_00 58:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:40

Do they all here's a question? Do they all know how to drive a stick shift? No. Do any of them? That's that's your one failing. I mean, you've excelled everywhere else.

SPEAKER_00 58:51

Oh, there's there's a lot of failings. Trust me. There's a lot of them. Yeah, that's definitely one of them. That's one of the fatherly things that I intend to do. I've actually just bought a little sports car that I can use. Then my wife has a five-speed, which I don't want them to use because it's a nice car. But the little sports.

SPEAKER_08 59:12

Oh, she drives a five-speed. I like her. I like her. I think she's selling it.

SPEAKER_05 59:15

Oh, yeah. She's kicking it. That's that's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_07 59:17

But yeah, I know. You drive a five-speed, right?

SPEAKER_05 59:20

No longer. Um, I know how to you know how to. Yeah, that's I was I don't that's how I learned how to drive was on a five-speed. Now that's impressive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:30

Yeah, I learned all little S10 pickup. Almost ran my dad over the first time I was driving it. I don't remember if it was five speed or not. I was only 11 years old.

SPEAKER_08 59:41

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 59:42

But he's like, I swear he said come forward. So I let the clutch out and it was like jumped out of.

SPEAKER_08 59:48

Yeah, that's the thing. It scares the shit out of you the first time you like are in first and you forget, and then you're just like the car's like, oh, ho, like it's terrifying.

SPEAKER_00 59:58

The number one, what's the number one thing that a father can say to really just like hit you hard, like stick you hard deep, you know? One thing.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:10

I'm disappointed in you.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:12

Hmm.

unknown 1:00:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:14

You're better than that.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:15

I never heard that one.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:16

I've heard them all.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:19

As a son, as a son, what were you thinking?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:23

Oh, yeah. My dad says that a lot, too.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:26

Oh Josh, what were you thinking? I'm like, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:30

Here's another one uh that my dad used to say. We'd uh like knock on their door, you know, the parents' room and be like, you know, we're gonna come in. Are you decent? He says, I'm always decent. I'm just naked.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:47

That's a good one.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:49

Emily, you're gonna have to cut out where he was like, what can your dad say that can make you do hard hit you hard? I wasn't gonna let it slide, Jonathan. That's not my style. I had to bullets back around.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:01

I'm like, I backed out of it quickly, though.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:04

You did, you did.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:04

I backed out trying to get out of it. I knew I knew what I was getting ready to say, and I was like, oh, that ain't gonna work.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:14

Oh god. This problem.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:17

I couldn't see the reaction because I'm not wearing my readers. Like you guys are just like blurred. Well, we're both gorgeous, by the way. Beautiful blob blobs on my screen.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:27

That was my nickname in high school. Here comes the beautiful blob.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:30

I'm trying to convince people I'm young, you know. Now it's over. Oh wow, yeah, you are beautiful. I can see that.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:38

Gosh, Jonathan, this has been it's like a roller coaster ride. And it it sounds like you found a space now where you can maybe take a breath. Do you feel like you've gotten through that period of time or do you still kind of feel like you're in that survival mode?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:54

Yeah, I'd say with my business, it's it's always like that. I'm trying right now to kind of yeah. I'm trying right now to kind of uh lean things up because I'm coming up with astronomical amounts of money on a weekly basis that is just stresses me out. I love having all the work and jobs that I'm doing. I really enjoy coordinating, scheduling, planning, efficiently getting work done. Like I love that, but it's coming up with the money every week that's just like oof. No thank you. I'm really not a fan of, so yeah. Well, unfortunately, my new wife isn't like a millionaire. She isn't really a sugar mama, unfortunately. So I've got to keep working.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:35

Yeah, does she help out at all her kingdoms? Sorry, did you say are you guys like looking? Or is she like a freeloader type?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:44

Yeah, she definitely is she freeloading? No, she helps a lot. Yeah, she's amazing.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:50

That sounds like something.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:51

She helps me with my business and she listens to my um she's a great supporter for sure. That's good.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:57

I guess that's okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:59

Wow. Well, you are a ride. You're you're that's you're pretty incredible. I must say. I don't know, I don't think I've ever met any men that for one, their goal their whole life was to be an excellent husband and an excellent father. And from there, you know, everything kind of just fell into place. Just your kindness and the love you had for your children and the compassion you had for your ex-wife just to make sure that she was healthy and happy. That's that's something else. I appreciate it. That's beyond you, I'd say. And the fact that you're raising these children, your these children of yours, with these morals, I think that's a wonderful thing. You're you're raising really good kids, it sounds like I appreciate it. Yeah, I hope your new wife is also kind and extremely uh you know, help out with teaching these kids what it's like to hopefully she's not going through perimenopause.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:05

Yeah. Yeah, I will say, Jonathan, I I won't lie, I was super disappointed when I found out you were married because you are a handsome, you're an officer and a gentleman. Courtney, you're married too. That's right. Speaking of which, I think my husband, hold on one second.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:27

Oh, where'd she go?

SPEAKER_08 1:04:29

Where'd she come?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:30

I think her husband's there.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:32

Hands off lady.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:34

She's the most beautiful woman on the planet.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:37

My parents paid top dollar for him. Yeah. They're like, Will you marry a 45-year-old daughter? And he said, I'll do it. But she got it, but she didn't.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:48

Yeah, so we met on Bumble.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:49

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:51

She said, she said, I like your hair.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:54

You do have a good head of hair.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:56

I was playing guitar on one of the little things. She's like, I like your hair and I like your voice. And I was like, I like your nipples. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:06

You're nice. I love them. Well, I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:09

That wasn't the first thing I said. I waited till I waited till we met for dinner.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:15

Oh you guys are sweet. Corny, go back to your microphone. It's our first time. Yeah, big cheese.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:22

I can't hear you otherwise. That was fun. That was fun. That's cute. He's so dreamy. He is dreamy. What a guy. You guys are a great couple. Congratulations. Yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:34

Um, so Jonathan, I have one final question for you. It's kind of what we ask, you know, everybody at the end. And um, don't think too hard. What what what's one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for you? It can be a stranger, it could be, you know, whatever. Just whatever pops into your head.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:51

For my 50th, my sister and my now wife planned a surprise 50th birthday party for me. Or no, it wasn't surprised. It was a ru well, it was meant to be. My sister said she was gonna plan it, and uh my wife court me. And I was like, I want it to be a roast. So, like, I want all of my family members and whoever's gonna be there to roast Jonathan Fisher, you know, like roast me, you know, like I think it'll be fun, like talk shit about me, whatever. So it didn't work out. Nobody was nobody nobody played along. A couple maybe my older brother, he might have said some things about me, you know, like made fun of me.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:32

I ripped you a little bit too, but most people got up there and cried about how much they love him.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:38

This just it meant so much to me though, like, because I don't think I've ever been that. I mean, at the end of it, I was like, okay, stop. Like, I've I'm I'm good, I'm set for life. I don't need to hear any more about how great I am. Like, there was this it was wonderful. Like, and I mean it it was so like touching and heartwarming because like my younger brother David, he's five years younger than me. My older brother Joel was kind of like my tormentor, and I thought I was changing that dynamic with the little brothers, you know, and would try to do um snowboarding trips and fun things with my brother David when he was 15 and I was like 20 or whatever. But it wasn't always that way. You know, I was a dick to him too, just like my older brothers to me, right? Uh his story just moved me so much. He said he was out, um, it was 2 a.m. Called me in the middle of the night. He was really drunk, he had got pulled over, called me, I came and got him, barely said two words, got his towed his car to his house, drove him home. He said, John, he said, never said a word to anybody about it. Nobody ever knew that this had happened, you know. And and I think at the time David might have been 17, 18, or you know, like I just just to hear him say it that I was there for him and not um I didn't even remember this when he's telling it.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:02

I'm like I was gonna say, I was like, I don't think you even remembered. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:06

So it's just so cool because like I don't know, absolutely that was definitely the coolest thing. That night was like incredible. And I can I think back on it and I'm like, I don't know, to think that I did that and it was in my nature and that I didn't even remember it, it just makes me feel really good. You know, absolutely to me that's like the coolest person on earth does that shit for somebody, like and anybody, you know, it was obviously my brother, but I would do that for anybody. You needed to be it's true, and I don't, unfortunately, Courtney can tell you, I don't talk about shit very much as far as like other people's business, you know, like uh even when I'm asked, like, what's going on with so-and-so? I'm like, you need to talk to so-and-so, you know, like or one of my sisters is like, I don't think she should be dating this person, and I'm like, Well, you need to talk to her because that's not my business. I just thought that was the coolest. That was the coolest night. And I definitely felt loved and appreciated, and it was it was really cool.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:05

Very good. I will I want to say that I think Jonathan, if we were to ask uh I think he would be the person that people would talk about if asked what's something nice that something nice that someone's done for you. I have so much footage on my phone of him helping push cars and traffic.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:26

No.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:27

I I how many times, I mean, at a gas station a car's broke down, in the middle of the road, a car's broke down, he pulls over, he gets out, he goes and pushes the car. I mean, like that's guy. I know, right? He's dreamy, ladies, and he is you got a good one there, Courtney.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:43

His man. And Johnny. I gotta say, your wife's pretty amazing too.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:48

She is, yeah, she's incredible.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:50

I think he knows that. Well, and it's really perfect because the two of us are both the number one fans in our own fan club. Yeah, I love that. I know. So when we met, we were like, we should send our number one fans from our fan clubs on a date.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:05

So we did we did a double date. I was like, Yeah, I was like, you would be my second favorite person to go out with. So why don't we do a double date?

SPEAKER_08 1:10:13

Why don't we do a double date? I'm I'm I'm I'm number two in John in the line of fans of Jonathan. Jonathan's number one.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:21

It's like it's really nice to date yourself. It really is.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:24

It's so nice. We both yeah. We may dapple a little bit in the delusional department, but hey, you guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:31

Certainly fine. I live there.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:34

It's just been lovely and amazing.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:37

I really appreciate you, Jonathan.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:39

Absolutely. I really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:41

Sharing quite a story. We have I feel like we have four other shows we need to film where we talk about adoptive kids and raising um you know, upstanding dudes. And um Yeah, my God.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:53

I could definitely, I could definitely do a few more episodes. All right, I got way more content than I shared. Yeah, I got way more.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:00

He was really watered down, and it's so hard not to act like I know what he was talking about. Like I have to- Oh, you were good. That worked. Yeah, I had to be a fan act, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:09

One quick one. Oh, yeah. So this is just like you can't, you couldn't, uh, you couldn't make this up. So in the process of uh my wife at the time having an affair, after that, like I said, we're going through financial hardship, right? Like bad. Taking money from her dad, like, you know, help so that we can live a certain lifestyle that we've been living. And uh she comes to me and like, you know, that truck that dad helped help us get? I want to take a loan on that truck. He paid cash for it, like $10,000 to help us out. So that truck that he bought us was $10,000 value. I want to get a loan with that. So that I can get it.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:51

Your wife at the time was saying this.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:52

Yes, so that I can get a boob job. Because when I was cheating on you, I felt very insecure about my breast because I breastfed five kids, which is true, which was true. It's true. But I'm I'm sitting there like what so we did it. That's bald. So we did it.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:12

Yeah, it was selfish.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:13

I did it. I went and got alone, and and they were beautiful. So like I wasn't completely against it, but uh, but isn't that funny? Like, you think about like somebody having that conversation. Like, we were obviously pretty open in our conversation, apparently.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:29

And I didn't whenever I see her, I'm always like, Oh, there's Johnny's boobies.

unknown 1:12:33

Just kidding.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:34

Never in a million years. But I love her, I think she's lovely and you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:37

Yeah, she's fun.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:38

That one threw me for a loop. Wow, that's it. I shared that with my parents.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:43

That's like the yeah, that's the surface. I've got so much content. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:47

You got a lot. Well, we'll have you back on again. Um absolutely and for any of our other listeners, I'm just know that you all have stories. So write in, share those with us. We will come on. If you want to be a guest, you absolutely can be. Um, or if you just want to submit your story, we will read it anonymously um if you'd like on the podcast. You can write in to us at that wasn't the plan pod at gmail.com or go to our website at that wasn't the plan.com or reach out to us on social media, that wasn't the plan podcast. Um, we're all over the place. Um, Jonathan, thank you so much for coming on today. Courtney's always, thank you.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:31

As well, Emily. My pleasure, the pleasure is mine. Took me a minute to get that out.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:39

And to our listeners, it's always a pleasure.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:42

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:43

All right. Until next time. Well, have a wonderful day.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:46

Yeah. Take care. Goodbye. Goodbye, bye. Thanks for listening to That Wasn't the Plan. If you found it helpful or at least mildly entertaining, a quick grading, review, and a click on the subscribe button would be lovely. And it genuinely helps us. And if a friend comes to mind, please share. Until next time. Bye.